I just had a really strange dream. It was a nice one though, and seriously just sums up everything that I feel like I'm missing out on.
I miss the stage. I miss the movement; the crazy jumps and spins, the emotional connection to the music. I miss that feeling most of all.
It's as if you can't get the best of both worlds. You only seem to be able to be part of one. You either jam it out through voice or movement, never both, at least for me. It makes me remember the red tutus, that dance we did that started silent on a stage with proper wings at the Seymour centre. The lights, the atmosphere.. It was amazing. It made it worth it. It was like being on top of the world. Nothing else mattered at that point.
What is there for me here? Good experience, definitely learnt some teaching skills and crowd control skills, as well as how to choreo at such a fast pace. There's also the patience you need, the tiring of your voice and the sense of achievement once a song looks good, but is overshadowed by the need to do several more. I think I'll miss this. It's good fun, however stressful and tiring it is.
Crazy life it is. And then there's school.
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